Deonthenotsomighty

today was drain out after the k-lunch session. But i had a really bim bom biang good time!!!!!

Cause Ding and Meng is back from china!!!! (the trip has yet to tame them down man.)
Anyway, had a real good time with them, everyone was so crazy so hyped. we were on the sofas on the “stage”, on whatever you can name in a K-room…lol.

Here’s a lil part of it.

We were 101% more hyped up than what u see in the pictureS. Ding was incredibly high throughout…and she not tired one leeehhhhh!!!! Ding is the one in short short short hair, the craziest among all. I miss having her in our office!! Meng is the one in black beside ding. It always tickles me to see her go bonkers with us..hahaha..cause she look so wen rou(she is NOT).
Anyway, we scare alot of kbox waiters, we sang like nobody business, like we own kbox like we were in our bathrooms!! Woooo!!

funfunfunfunfun with ding and meng ard!! everyone became a little more bonkers!!

I    L O V E    M Y    C O L L E A G U E S!!!!

WE ROCK!!!!

I can’t wait for the next K-session!!

气球，
不是永恒的。
它们会从你手中漂走，
或在你手中被刺破。
它们可以很鲜艳，
但它们的心，
也只是空气罢了。
飞走了的气球，
不会飞回来的。
它们会在半空中,
慢慢地变小，
慢慢地消失掉。
它们带来的快乐，
也都只是短暂的。

我手中的气球，
向往着蓝天，
而不是我温热的手。

been practicing at home this 2 days,
trying to get back on track a lil after the “long break” from the tender.

Don’t know why,
i feel very breathless, my heart beat very very fast and i get dizzy after awhile,
bothers me. wasnt like this in the past. I wonder is it lack of rest(which is quite impossible..#@$~~)

(((

i am feeling very weak these days…i fall sick easily..feel lethagic easily…

workouts and sleeps are not helping much…WHYYYY?!!

((((((((

miss the late night practices with my darlings….esp all the stupid things we do during practices..lol (dawn..if you are reading this..SEND ME THE STUPID CLIPS WE TOOK!!….lol…..i miss ya’ll!!!!)

明天，

是最后一次试练。

一厢情愿，

很痛。

我想，

对岸其实一直是空的，

那只是打在岸上的一些浪罢了。

只是我以为那个浪不会蒸发掉，

以为罢了。

还爱，还痛， 还是担心，还有泪， 还有想念， 还执著， 还是一厢情愿，还是一样傻，还是放不下，

但，

我这里的浪，他似乎看不见也不管了。

sooo cute!!
kids who are smart are cute!

but i am still learning how to handle them,
cause sometimes they seems smarter than me..
damn.

i soo want to have a kid, but not till i am all ready for one.
i want my kid to be a happy one. 

))

if i ever have a child, i will stop working(maybe do freelance..lol) till maybe when he or she is 8 or 9 or….
cause i feel that if i want to have a child, i must be responsible for their up-bringing and all, and not like many pple nowadays, let their maid or in-laws do the job,
i’ve seen many failed examples, kids nowadays are all about their maids or ah gong ah ma.. they might be more experience in baby sitting, but if i duno, i’ll learn and i want to be there in every step of their life.
i want to teach them the right thing and show them the right thing…
upbringing is very important, it is the foundation to who they are for the rest of their lives.

i sound as if i am so enthu to be a mother..lol…
definitely not now..
i can’t provide much now.
But i am not goin to change what i said above,
i will only work hard to make that come true
))

阿公，一路好走。

Sun in Capricorn, Moon in Pisces

Your astrological combination indicates a quiet, undemonstrative individual. You are retiring by nature and prefer domestic activities. A somewhat passive person, you require a stronger force or person to move you out of your state of psychological inertia. Much about you is concentrated and inner-directed. You seek integrity of self. You make a good friend and confidant, for you never reveal a secret that has been told to you. But you don’t allow friends and associates to penetrate beneath your outermost mask. You deal well with people in unfortunate positions, because they arouse the compassion inherent in your Moon influence. Under favorable circumstances, your psychic and mystic tendencies could be awakened. The key to a more harmonious existence lies in using your organizing ability to establish a more active life. You possess a high degree of innate ambition and perseverance.

Ascendant in Gemini, Mercury in the Seventh House

At the time of your birth the zodiacal sign of Gemini was ascending in the horizon. Its ruler Mercury is located in the seventh house. Your ascending sign and the position of its ruler offers general information concerning the overall trends of the course of life and complements the data pertaining to your temperament, given previously by the analysis of the combined positions of the Sun and Moon. Gemini is the third sign of the zodiac and among its key psychological influences over life there are the following: intellectual activities, humanism, and abhorrence of violence, constant doubt of all mental concepts, hesitancy and academic interest. People whose ascending sign is Gemini usually appear as elegant, slender, expressive, and with very humane facial expressions. They are individuals with some literary inclination, dexterous with manual labors and crafts, apt, able, witty, inventive and very curious and subtle. A Gemini in the ascendant will always distinguish herself by her rather eloquent speech and writing, her much occupied daily life, and her perpetual lack of an ability to effect swift and determined decisions. As a Gemini, you should try to compensate your hesitancy with fast thinking. Your disposition to life-events will be kind and generous (within bounds) but not always fortunate, because of too much vacillation in decision-making circumstances. You possess the capability of rising in life because of your own intellectual assets. Your mind is open and generous, and your intellect self-sufficient; yet on many occasions, judgment will appear as “twisted”. You should restrain useless discussion, strife, and unprofitable argument as they’re your worst enemies. To achieve success, you should stress your literary and scientific studies, give free hand to your brilliant intellect in warranted circumstances, and apply your diligent nature to writing, traveling, communications, and human analysis. In all these activities you are at your best. Mercury, the ruler of your life, appears in the seventh house, that of marriage and partnership. In a more subtle manner this house signifies the subjective aspect of your nature in contrast with the objective side. Your life will, therefore, be very influenced by how you associate with others, and will move to the beat of non-egotistical factors. Your ruler in the seventh house stands for the realization of human unions, commercial and otherwise, where the partner is intelligent, and at times somewhat sectarian or unreliable due to eager acquisitiveness. You should always try to clearly state your intentions, as well as demand the same treatment, in order to avoid suffering misunderstandings as mentioned earlier.

Sun in the Seventh House

The Sun was found in the seventh house at the time of your birth. Among other things, this means that your individuality is required to accomplish certain important developments in connection with associations and marriage. It appears, that you will be married to a rather proud but dignified individual, and much of all the progress that you will make in life will be a derivation of your relationship. In any instance, you can expect throughout life the origination of lasting attachments and noble friendships.

Saturn in the Seventh House

Saturn was found in seventh house at the time of birth. In your dealings with others, you are going to present a very cautious personality and you will work slowly towards the achievement of security. The environment will be a very restricting factor in your life; the same limitations that hinder your relationships with others will emerge in a narrowness of reception to your ideas and emotions. This indicates that the key to more spiritual and material development lies in your response to the several tests destined for you which consist of patiently enduring difficulties through human relationships. You should remember that Saturn does not lend a propensity to be demonstrative in an emotional sense. It does, in those individuals with whom you will start a lifelong relationship, give a sense of duty and stability of emotions. Yet you are going to experience some sorrow throughout your life in a relationship. This is mostly going to consist of the several limitations that this state is imposing upon your personal freedom. The key to a better integration of your existence lies in the ability to view these obstacles and binds with philosophical resignation.

Venus in the Eighth House

Venus was found in your eighth house at the time of birth. This is a favorable position regarding the possibilities of financial gain through businesses owned by your partner or by associates. Psychologically, you are going to find many harmonious conditions in your sexual relationships. If your inner growth is such that your vital energies are oriented toward spiritual rather than material pleasures, then you will arrive at gratification and happiness through inquiry into the mysteries of life and death. You should have some excellent opportunities for progress in your financial and social condition during your middle age or when you finally stabilize your life through marriage or any other type of close relationship.

Moon in the Ninth House

The Moon was found in the ninth house at the time of birth. Your higher mind has the potential to expertly reflect the teachings of elevated knowledge that you may receive throughout your life. You will have an ability to quickly adjust to varying conditions. You are endowed with a clever and resourceful imagination, and a mind which is receptive to ideals, higher thoughts, and perhaps even metaphysical matters.Throughout life you are going to solve many critical situations by your ingenious and highly inventive mind which has an abundance of new and humane plans and ideas.

**quite accurate…spooky :/

Theres a line, a gap, an ocean or even something even bigger for me to cross, 

it seems so hard to get there. 

or is it even there on the other side?

 Nintendo wii was fun. =p

the first thing that came into my mind was him.

Today 16th July, my ah gong passed away.
I was sleeping when my mum told me.

First thing that came into my mind,

 ”Oh no, dad’s still in china.”

He is not in time to see my ah gong for the last time.
I know he will be very very sad.
Went to the wake just now, everyone was there.
Though everyone saw it coming,
but it is still very sudden tho.
Ah gong fell down in the morning and slip into coma.
Then left at 4 plus in the afternoon.

Sis was very sad,
she said she was one of the grandchildren that lived with him the longest.
I did ‘nt really cry,
probably because i wasnt close to him like some other cousins.
It is only when they are nailing the coffin then
I couldnt take it anymore,
I keep thinking
“papa kan bu dao le”
((((
i expected it to be those coffin where there is a glass on top
where you can still see them.

All along i know my dad loves my ah gong alot…
now, he is away and he coudnt see him for the last time.
Thinking of it makes me cry again.

I’m a lil angry of how they treated the funeral all these.
my ah gong was not properly made up,
the coffin was cheap(there’s some rich ass uncles in my family)
the cut on his forehead was not treated nicely.
i felt like they just pack him up and put in coffin and seal..thats all.

I haven really have a proper look at him before,
I am the youngest grandchildren in the family,
and we are not close at all.
only just now before nailing the coffin when
we can have a last look then i realise
Ah gong is really very very old le.
He is 90 this year.

It is just nice that i just finished off my tender then this happened.
This friday is the cremating date.
dad will be back on wed.

 pardon how wierd this entry seems..i am super tired now…
my brain is half dead.

inbox was full,

i scrolled to the end of my inbox,

and i saw the same name over and over again.

it WAS all so sweet.

WAS.

decision made, determined to move on, but thoughts still have to simmer down by itself.

Working alone at home is always not efficient, i have an emo room.
My room has all my darkest secret. My room is my darkest diary,
and my pillow is the shoulder for me. 

我在向前走却像在退后，
我在用想念狂欢寂寞，
快乐就越失落，
爱将我们高高举起以后，
让心学会坠落，
怀念这矿阔的天空，
虽然那里空气很稀薄，
我努力想起你笑着哭泣，
让自己深爱你再学会放弃，
我不想忘记你，
就算可以就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起